Scumbag John

A while ago, I posed this question to my Tumblr followers:

“Wait so is it OK to hit a trans-male in the face?

My reasoning was based on the old maxim that a man should never hit a woman in the face, which came from many different social logics: men are physically stronger than women, a women’s face is beautiful and sacred, etc.

It got me thinking—does this old maxim still apply in today’s society? When a physical man starts identifying as a woman, does this maxim start protecting him? When a physical woman starts identifying as a man, does this maxim stop protecting her? I found that last one to be the most thought-provoking, and frankly the most shocking. Does a girl changing her name from Olivia to Olive change the fact that you shouldn’t hit her?

I thought it was interesting how drastically different the answers were.

thereisnofuture-thereisnopast: “no its not ok to hit anyone” 

I probably agree with this one the most, even though it dodges the question a little. It pushes for gender equality and pacifism. However, violence is often a necessary evil when there is conflict between two people that words cannot solve. So in those extreme circumstances, is it not slightly better to hit a man than to hit a woman?

thebittersea: “I know it’s a joke, but you know why it’s not ok, right? Unless in certain circumstances where they’re continually, harassing you, maybe.”

People often have trouble distinguishing when I’m joking or when I have legitimate controversial opinions. I think that if a woman is continually harassing a man, that man is physically strong enough to easily just ignore or escape that woman without having to resort to violence. 

iamcalledmarley: “If any other guy’s picking a fight with you, would you fight him? Why should it make any difference?”

A trans-male is still physically a woman and therefore still physically weaker than a man. Your opinion seems to be that this doesn’t matter; if a woman identifies as a man, she gives up that social protection.

  musmustoo: “Is it okay to hit anyone in the face?”

In cases of self-defense or other times when violence is necessary, yes. If a man came after me, I would defend myself against him. I don’t feel that need against a girl. I’ve been slapped by girls in the face on a multitude of occasions. I don’t hit them back as I would a man.

hazelthinking: “Don’t hit anyone. if they’re looking for a fight, think about what they’ve gone through that day alone just for being trans.”

The third occurrance of this cop-out answer, but with a twist this time. Does the fact that they’ve been through a lot excuse they’re violence towards me? Should I still defend myself?

shortcake7502: “hands are for loving, not hitting :)”

Right. Next time someone punches me in the face, I’m going to jerk him off.

jonjonweaver: “It’s okay to hit ANYONE in the face because everyone is EQUAL.”

So you reject the old adage in favor of pure gender equality—I respect that. I think that viewpoint shows a lot more integrity than a feminist pushing for gender equality without addressing the many provisions in this culture that protect women such as this maxim, or simply justifying them by saying that there’s so much more in the favor of men. 

However, I am not a gender equalist myself. Men and women are not equal because they can’t be equal—apples and oranges, two different spectra. Men and women are different in such ways that they need to be approached differently.

I do believe that men and women should be given equal rights and equal opportunities, but assuming that all people are equal and that they’re gender shouldn’t affect the way you treat them is ridiculous.

I think it’s very wrong to hit a woman, and if I accidentally did in anger I would regret it for the rest of my life. And I wouldn’t just regret it because of my own personal values, but because of social values as well—people would see me and go “that’s John Ruml, he beats women, let’s avoid him.” I would lose my friends and opportunities. It would irreparably damage my life, a lot more than if I “just got in a fight with another guy.”

In summary, I believe that society helps out men in some ways, and women in others. As it should. Discretion, not discrimination.

But what would happen if I got in a fight with a trans-male? Somewhere in between the two?